Have some of your behaviors been annoying your friends lately? We all need to think about the influence we have on people around us. Do you blame everyone else for your problems? Are you more of a taker than a giver? Are you one to hold grudges? Are more of your friends slowly abandoning you?
Your Friends Are Abandoning You
As you grow a little older, you will start to drift away from some of your friends. It’s a sad but natural part of life. But if you find that your friends are ignoring your calls, or canceling plans last minute, they might be distancing themselves from you purposely. If you’re consistently causing drama in your group, you might find yourself alone pretty quickly. As people’s lives grow more hectic, they have less time to deal with unnecessary hysteria. If a person close to them is bringing on extra tension, they may cut them off. It’s the reality of life.
People have families, mortgages and important jobs. While going out and having fun with people is still on the table, things aren’t going to be as crazy as they were in your teens and early 20’s. Your friends want a much more chill vibe. So if people are cutting you loose, you may be too much of a handful.
You Talk a Lot of Smack
Be honest, you do this. We all do from time to time. In a social media era like this one, people have a hard time not discussing people. But you want to try and avoid this as much as possible. Talking smack is not only rude, it’s both mentally and physically draining. You can only get so much mileage out of talking about people. Those around you will start getting fed up as well. Talking smack brings a lot of bad energy, something most people don’t want to be around. It can also bring a lot of unwanted attention into your life. You never know who you’re talking to.
One of these days you will say something to the wrong person. They will end up relaying it to the person you were talking about. Things are known to get pretty ugly from there. You don’t want a person finding out you were speaking badly about them. It’s an easy way to both lose a friend and get physically hurt. Besides, there’s nothing more sobering than being told, “I heard you were saying something about me… Well say it now…”.
You Never Admit Fault
This is something people tolerate until it becomes too much to handle. Are you a person who never takes blame for your mistakes? Let’s say you said something that your friend took offense to, but you really meant it as a compliment. Your friend leaves the room upset. You look around at others wondering what went wrong. After they try several times to get you to apologize, you still won’t budge. In your mind, you did nothing wrong. “I didn’t mean to sound sarcastic. It’s just my delivery.”
If you’re constantly being blamed for things, you might be a problem in the lives of your loved ones. There’s some people who just refuse to admit when they’ve hurt someone. Life is about facing your mistakes and learning from them. A person who can’t accept the fact that they screw up is one of the most toxic people you’ll meet.
You Hold Grudges on Your Friends
Making a mistake and hurting others is one thing. Refusing to let go of a friend’s mistake is another. Sometimes, you’ve just got to learn to let go. You owe it to yourself. Holding onto a grudge is taxing. The amount of energy we spend dwelling on people who’ve crossed us could take years off our life. Whether it’s through therapy, meditation or simply forgiving the person, you need to find a way to be at peace.
Holding grudges can also lead to talking smack. If you’re angry at someone, you’re likely to shoot your mouth off to the wrong person. This only brings on more problems. Your friends can only give you so much advice before they leave you themselves.
You Take More Than You Give
It’s something most people have little time for. But it’s normally something the person doesn’t notice until a friend calls them out. Have any of your loved ones ever accused you of being selfish? Have they ever brought up how much they’ve done for you while receiving nothing in return. There’s no price tag on friendship. But that doesn’t mean you can continually ask for favors and not be there for when that person finally needs you.
Whether it’s your friend or romantic partner, a relationship is a two way street. You need to help each other out. People like to feel as if they’re appreciated. When they start feeling like your personal servant, it annoys them. Giving back feels good. The good part is that you don’t need to bend over backwards. It starts with the smallest gesture. If you notice your friend has been picking up coffee for you the last while, it’s time for you to offer. Have they invited you over for dinner? Well you can invite them over for once. Otherwise, you won’t see much of them as time goes on.
You’re Way Too Negative
If there’s one thing people don’t like in their lives, it’s an unnecessary pessimist. In a world where everyone seems to be anxious and on edge, the last thing you need to be doing is reminding friends how bad things are. Yes, looking at stuff from a realistic perspective has its upsides. But if you’re constantly saying terrible things, people won’t like you. Even those close to you get tired. Whether you are commenting on something in the news, or simply making harsh observations and comments, a negative thought goes a long way. It becomes the only thing you offer in a conversation.
The good news is that you can always improve your attitude. Try holding back the next time you think of something smarmy or negative to say. The more positive you act around others, the more your friends will want to have you around. Better conversation is sometimes the best way to maintain a relationship. It’s hard to reflect on your mistakes sometimes.