When we hear the word loner, we often think of someone who’s unhappy. But this is a misconception. Many loners have interesting personality traits. Here are the 6 personality traits of people who like to be alone. Are they loyal? What makes them level headed and open minded? Should you be their friend?
They are loyal
You might be wondering what being loyal has to do with being a loner. You’d think loyal people had loads of friends. How can a loner be loyal if there’s no one around to test their loyalty? Turns out there’s a pretty strong connection. Yes, a loner doesn’t crave hanging out with friends. But when they like someone and develop a true bond with them, they turn out to be fiercely faithful. These people value themselves and the people they allow in their life. If they feel happy and valued, they will support you to no end. They show loyalty in many areas throughout their life, whether it’s their career, romantic relationship, or friendship. There is another reason behind the loyalty of loners. One would say a much darker side. Sometimes friends ditch us out of obligation to others.
For example, your friend may hurt you by siding with your emotionally manipulative ex. All because your ex is an integral part of their friendship circle. And your friend is way too scared of being left alone. This fear of being left alone often makes people accept bad behavior, hurt others and side with abusers. People who are comfortable with themselves do not have this fear. They enjoy their own company. Good luck trying to issue threats of ‘alienating from the friendship circle’. It won’t work. AND a loner is VERY likely to call it like it is.
They have firm boundaries
This is my biggest pet peeve. People who do not understand the concept of boundaries AND keep poking their noses in the lives of others. Boundaries are a great concept. They help relationships THRIVE. You know who respects others’ boundaries and has firm ones of their own? Someone who’s self-assured and loves spending time with themselves. These people exercise healthy and firm boundaries. Loners understand the real meaning of space. They are fine tuned to their mood, which is in touch with the emotions of others as well. They will set strong values and clear ideals for themselves. This in turn makes life comfortable for people associated with them. The sense of agency over your physical body, space and feelings makes boundaries a HUGE necessity for healthy emotions and relationships. You will be able to conserve your emotional energy, have better self esteem, and enjoy more independence.
Wondering how to set healthy boundaries? Well, take note from a loner. They understand their basic rights to: Say no without feeling guilty Be treated with respect Be able to prioritize their emotional needs AND to disregard unrealistic expectations people have of them Start with acknowledging and valuing these basic rights. Identify values that are very important for you. This is how you get started with setting boundaries. Always trust your gut instincts to help you determine if someone is violating your boundaries. The last but most important part is to be assertive. This way, you’ll become a boundary setting boss!
They are self-aware
If you think all people who like to be alone are actually lonely, you’re terribly wrong. They like being left alone BUT AREN’T ALONE in their mind. They have their thoughts. Loners enjoy their own company as they are able to analyze their own thoughts and emotions. This ability to process your own thoughts is like a superpower. You become more emotionally balanced and curb negative thoughts. Self awareness comes naturally to people who like being alone. These people are more confident, productive and optimistic.
Wondering how you yourself can be more self-aware? Well there are several steps you can take. Begin with meditation. It allows you to be comfortable with your thoughts. During your meditation sessions ask yourself what you’re trying to achieve? What makes you happy? What angers you? Questions like these help you understand yourself in a better way. Next, you need to write down your priorities and key plans. Keep a journal with you to write small observations and thoughts. It can serve as an important tool to reflect on your personality later. There are psychometric tests that can help you find out more about yourself. You can ask your trusted friends too. Just be open to honest feedback. Look at yourself objectively. Reflect on your own thoughts and actions, even the negative ones.
They are level headed
There is a very important skill loners have. One that will make you envy them. I’m talking about their ability to not let outside events, circumstances or conditions affect them. In short, they are level headed and mentally tough. A coworker made a sarcastic comment? They will either hit back with a slick reply, or simply ignore it. They won’t dwell on it like you or I. And they won’t keep replaying the events in their head and ruin their mood. This kind of ability almost seems like a superpower. You will find these kinds of people are ACTUALLY happy in their life. They are in a happy place, and do well in both relationships and their career. This is because they are equipped to handle the most irritating circumstances in a calm manner.
Being level headed is one of the most underrated qualities a person can have. You are confident, calm, and far more in control of your feelings. Level headed people are also less reactive and more analyzing. They pause and think before responding. And when they’re pausing to reflect, they will view things from other perspectives as well. This is the reason you will find that level headed people often make the best decisions. Because these decisions come from a positive and healthy mental state.
They are open minded
It’s a big misconception that loners are closed off. In fact, the opposite of this is true. Loners are thinkers willing to look beyond their own versions of the truth. They understand that a 6 from their viewpoint could be 9 from someone else’s. Open mindedness helps them be successful in both their personal and professional life. Do not mistake open minded people for being pushovers. Open minded loners will reflect on all alternatives and take their sweet time to analyze everything. Then they will come to a firm decision and act accordingly.
So what do loners gain through their open mindedness? It’s incredibly difficult to manipulate or emotionally abuse these kinds of people. They cannot be pressured into making decisions. Open minded loners cannot be gaslit, as they have the ability to spot troublesome behavior. All thanks to the hours they spend reflecting and thinking.
Another awesome benefit of being around loners is that they are less prone to projection. Their open minded attitude, powered by self awareness, gives them a razor sharp insight. This means they’re unbelievably good at predicting other’s behavior. There is another benefit in being open minded. And I am sure this one will make you want to learn how to be receptive to other ideas. That is if you haven’t already. Open minded people tend to score better on IQ tests, SATS, and other exams. This quality is a common trait for highly intelligent people. Genius or not, having an open mind can take you places. Explore new ideas and activities. Life is beyond what we all think it to be!
They are empathetic
If you have a close friend who likes spending time alone, you are very lucky. They’re one of the most empathetic types of people in the entire world. Loners understand and feel other people’s emotions. They can sense when you are upset. Empathetic loners are happy when you are succeeding in life. And they will sympathize with your pain. They’re the best people to be around. Being empathetic is like a double-edged sword. It puts you in tune with the emotions of people around you. But this also means you will feel their sorrow and despair. So if you’re a loner, you do need to learn how to safeguard your emotional energy.