lust and love

How to tell if it’s lust or love? Difference between lust and love.

Ever wondered what the difference is between lust and love? There’s actually a huge difference between real love and lust. There’s a lot of people who can mistake being in love with just having serious lust. A lot of us think we know what exactly real love is. Curious about what the main differences are between lust and love?

Definition of lust and love

Before we get to the main differences between lust and love, here are some definitions of what love and lust actually are! Lust is “unbridled, physical attraction driven mostly by our sexual desires.” Whereas love “involves giving yourself entirely, fully, without question to another person for a long time. It’s often about caring and forming an emotional connection beyond sexual attraction. The heart is usually involved”.

How to tell if it’s lust or love?

Physical Attraction

When you’re in love, you don’t care about how your partner looks. When a couple is together, they love each other unconditionally. Although sexual attraction is a big part of a relationship, not everyone has their perfect days. Being in love with someone means accepting them for all their flaws. Even on days when they are sick or just aren’t looking their best. When you’re in real love, you will still unconditionally love that man or woman.

Lust, on the other hand, is completely different. Because lust is defined as a physical attraction which is driven by sexual desires. Someone who lusts for another person may not necessarily want to have anything to do with that person if they are not sexually attractive.

When people are in love, these types of things never matter. Sure, a man or woman loves it when the other partner is all done up and looking on point. But you know you’re in love with someone when you can still love them even when they are in their PJS, stuffing their face with a cheeseburger.


People who are in love are not only lovers, but best friends. They share their secrets with one another, their desires, their hopes and dreams. They plan out their future together and get to know each other and they rely on each other and are there for each other in times of need. People who are in love are best friends, and for good reason.

People who just lust for one another are just lovers. They never cross that point in which they become friends and share intimate secrets and thoughts with one another. Real feelings are rarely discussed when two people are lusting for each other. It is primarily just a sexual relationship. These types of people don’t usually have conversations about serious topics, and rarely talk about their feelings towards one another. It is a sexual relationship which never crosses that boundary. These signs of lust include being distant.

A person in lust with another person will not go out of their way to get to know someone beyond an intimate level. Lust is about desire and attraction – it is never about an emotional connection.

Real love, on the other hand, is all about emotional connections and deep feelings.

Quality time

What guys and girls think about when they are in love and when they are in lust are two completely different things.

A man or woman who is feeling lust primarily just thinks about when they can sleep with the other person. They do not think about spending quality time with the other person, going on dates, cuddling, or meeting their friends or family. They have one motivation, and one motivation only – and that is to satisfy their intimate desires and needs with the other person.

Someone who is in love may think about when they can snuggle up under the blanket and watch a good show with their partner, whereas someone who is lusting over someone does not even consider experiencing these types of small, special moments with the other. They do not care about meeting someone’s family or friends, going on romantic dates, or just sitting on the couch and getting to know each other.

That is one of the main differences between lust and love – people in love cherish the quality time they spend with one another, while people who are lusting over another person don’t care much for this type of quality time. If someone doesn’t want to take you on a date or meet your friends or family, or do anything besides having intimate relations with you, they may just be lusting over you.

If you are looking for something more than that, it may be time to address your feelings or remove that person from your life all together. Lust is clearly what you feel at the beginning of a relationship. The beginning is where the guy tries to show off all his best moves, and the girl has to be on her best behavior. Both are trying to impress one another.

When you are in love with the person, chances are you are way more comfortable. Seeing your partner with no makeup and looking like a complete slob doesn’t phase you.

Taking the lead

Couples who are in lust follow what is expected of them. Like going on dates, for example. On a date where the couple is still in “lust”, the guy is expected to pay the bill. But the couple that’s in love? The girl isn’t afraid to take the lead. Once a couple moves past that initial phase of getting to know one another, things change. If they move past the lust and actually develop a real, loving relationship, they compromise and do things for each other.

Although some people, based on their personality, may still feel the urge to take the lead in certain situations. When a couple is dating for some time, they tend to switch up who pays the bill, and who takes charge in certain situations. When a couple is in lust, though, one person in the relationships usually tends to take control and overcompensate in order to make themselves look better in the eyes of the other.

For example, when a guy is in lust and is trying to impress a girl, he may try to take her to lavish and expensive places in hopes of impressing her. This type doesn’t usually have any emotional or special meaning behind it. Whereas when a couple is in love, when they take each other out to lavish and expensive places. It is because they love each other and want the other to feel special and loved.

What scientists say about lust and love


Scientists note that “lust is an altered state of consciousness driven by our primal urge to procreate.” It’s also believed to be more of the “honeymoon phase” that’s fueled by you idealizing that person. We put on these blinders to cover up any flaws that are there.

Lust is actually an altered state of consciousness which is programmed by our natural primal urge to procreate. In fact, research states that when someone is lusting over another person. The brain acts nearly the same way as it does when it is on drugs. MRI scans on people who are on drugs show that the same areas of the brain light up for people who are experience lust or physical attraction. In addition to this, lust makes our sex hormones act up, which fuels idealization and projection.


When you are in love, you see the bigger picture, pimples and all. But even if you saw those flaws, those imperfections, those annoying habits. You still want to continue being with that person. It goes way beyond the physical. The idealization is gone and you are totally aware of everything physically and mentally.

Relationships are very tricky!. Good Luck.