General / Self Care

How to find if you are in a boring relationship?

Whether we like to admit it or not, relationships can fade away. Not all of them last forever. It’s sad, because we often lie to ourselves that our relationship is going to survive. Even when both people are unhappy.

You’ve Lost Your Romance

Just so you know, there is a distinction between a dull and a comfortable relationship. One is healthy, the other is not. There it is. It’s natural to have bad days. Even healthy relationships have them from time to time. However, when your relationship feels like it’s falling apart, you know you have a problem. Your conversations go nowhere, and living with this person becomes unbearable.

Boredom is not the worst thing in a relationship, but it can have major emotional consequences. There needs to be romance in your life. If you’re not showing that you appreciate the other person, there’s no point in being together. You may still care about your significant other, but in a more platonic way. It’s almost like the two of you are good friends. If you don’t work on your relationship or marriage, the love that was once so fresh and exciting goes away. You end up with a roommate, not a partner.

Research reveals that falling out of love is a time-consuming process, but you eventually realize that your love for this person is lost, and is unlikely to return.

You Have More Fun Alone

Another sign of relationship boredom is when you’re not having a lot of fun around your spouse. You’re actively enjoying your time away from them. This might be an indication that you’re uninterested in the connection. You find yourself doing activities alone, and you like it that way. You’re becoming more of a loner because you don’t involve your significant other in these activities. If you prefer time alone, you’re probably attempting to isolate yourself from your spouse, even if you’re not aware of it. Mind you, we’re not talking about the healthy personal space that everyone needs now and again.

If you’re making more time for yourself and not your partner, things are not looking good for you in the long term. Sure, the strongest relationships involve a balance of romance and time apart, but if your time together is no longer satisfying, that’s a pretty big red flag.

You Fantasize About Other People

Do you ever wonder if your work or Instagram crush would make a better girlfriend or boyfriend than your current partner? This may be another sign that you’re no longer present in your relationship. While it’s natural to have feelings for more than one person at a time, having lasting fantasies about someone other than your partner is not a good sign. People in an unhappy relationship often picture themselves being single again. You’re free from your current partner, and ready to get back out there. They may also begin to envy their friends who are single. They see you as someone with the world in front of you, while they’re chained to a person they’re no longer happy with. If you feel like you’re this person, it’s time to assess your relationship and be honest with yourself.

You No Longer Care

Relationships are usually demanding. They require work on both ends. If one of you isn’t pulling your weight and caring for the other, things will fall apart. The hallmark of a good relationship is one where the pair remains connected, despite challenges. Regardless of how difficult the task at hand is, both people should commit to figuring it out together. They need to see each other as comrades and collaborators. It’s like the two of you are machines that can’t run unless both people are involved. If you’re bored with your relationship, chances are you’ve stopped putting in the necessary effort. Instead of putting forward your “best self”, you’ve started to wonder, “Why bother?”

Awkward Silences

There’s no denying the fact that too much silence with your significant other might be a sign of boredom in your relationship. Comfortable silences may be beneficial, but if you’re going out to dinner and have nothing to talk about, the relationship’s going downhill. Communication is essential in every relationship. This guarantees that both parties are travelling in the same direction in terms of commitment. Research shows that silence is used as a contemporary supplement to improve speech. During the study, silence helped married couples settle their conflict, and allow for time to think. Couples that didn’t take time to think and be silent had a harder time resolving their issues.

You Pick Fights

Getting into disputes for petty reasons might be an indication that you’re bored in your relationship. If you find yourself frequently arguing with your spouse about insignificant matters, you should take a step back and consider why. Yes, it’s true that disagreements happen in all relationships. But it’s worth looking into if the discussions are motivated by frustration and boredom. Being angry all the time, or even repulsed by your spouse, is a sign you’re dissatisfied with your relationship. For example, you may find yourself snapping at your spouse because they’re blocking your movement around the house. They maybe even said something you chose to take the wrong way. Since being in a relationship is a major commitment, you’ll have strong negative feelings if the commitment no longer feels worth it. In this case, you’re probably lashing out at your spouse because your commitment to them feels more like a burden than a pleasure. In the end, you both deserve better.

When You’re Together, You Hate It

While all romantic partnerships have ups and downs, the good should always outweigh the bad. If this is no longer the case, it might be an indication that boredom has taken control. If you find yourself frowning more than smiling, especially those forced grins, your relationship is probably boring. A complete lack of enjoyment in your relationship may put you in this constant state of boredom. Routine and structure are useful, but if you’re having trouble finding things to look forward to as a couple, or longing for the ‘good old days,’ it might be time to end things.

You Don’t Deal With Relationship Issues

If you’re bored with your relationship, you’ll probably stop trying to fix problems that arise with your spouse. The lack of intimacy has made you bored, and you really don’t care to change things. If you have a problem, and you’re not opening up to them about it, it’s clear that you don’t care anymore. A person who wants their relationship to keep going will be honest with their partner and try to find a resolution.

You Don’t Know How To Feel Anymore

When things are going bad, it’s actually quite normal to be confused. On one hand, you may love this person. On the other, you’re beginning to hate their guts. Relationships can be full of happiness, frustration, sadness and anxiety. Sometimes all at once… If you find yourself in this situation, you’re not just bored, you’re confused. You have no clue what your next move is because it isn’t that simple. You love your spouse and made a commitment to them, but you’re unhappy. This is a dilemma that often ends in heartbreak for both parties.

Making Out Isn’t Even Exciting

If you’re bored with your relationship, it may spill over into the bedroom. Quality time together becomes slow and uneventful. There may be less desire to put out an effort to impress your spouse, spice things up, or even interact. Even if you say “yes” to romance, you’re not really into it. When physically romance is out of the picture, things go downhill for couples very quickly. It shows that the two of you just aren’t physically attached to each other. From here, other areas of your relationship will suffer. Although changes in your bedroom life may indicate boredom, this is not always the case. It all depends on how connected you are. If you feel like there’s still hope, you need to find a way to connect with your partner. Sometimes, relationships hit roadblocks. It all depends on how you deal with them.