intimacy relationship
General

Do you find intimacy missing from your relationship?

All couples figure out what their partners’ intimacy levels are at a certain point. Even if you love each other, you’re going to hit a rough patch sooner or later. To resolve conflicts and become closer, you’ll first need to know what the reason is behind all the tension.

Misunderstanding

All couples figure out what their partners’ intimacy levels are at a certain point. They find out what they enjoy as well as how far their limits go. But things change. As people grow, their intimacy levels may drop. You just don’t have the same desires you did when you were younger. The big issue when it comes to intimacy is it could mean different things to different people. So, while you may think you’re being intimate with your spouse, your partner may not be feeling the same way. This is because they’re looking at it from a different perspective. By definition, intimacy refers to a close and loving relationship. In the case of marital intimacy, that includes everything from emotional and physical to social and spiritual intimacy.

Basically, the two of you will need to feel whole with one another. In order to figure out what the problem is, you need to talk to each other. Communication is key in every relationship. More often than not, when you hear the term “intimacy”, you think it refers to physical togetherness. The problem with this interpretation is that partners forget about the non-physical elements of intimacy. While being physically intimate is important, being emotionally close is equally significant. It’s not all your fault, though. When it comes to intimacy, we take most of our information from the media.

In the media, intimacy is portrayed in a physical way. On the other end of this spectrum is the taboo surrounding physical intimacy. If you have problems with being physically intimate, it can create tension in your marriage. Your partner may start to think you don’t love them anymore. If your parents didn’t teach you about the birds and the bees, it’s probably hard for you to understand what intimacy is all about. Either way, it’s important to understand the physical and the non-physical parts of intimacy. Only then can a couple have a fully intimate relationship, and a healthy bond.

Misunderstandings, whether they’re between the couple or about intimacy itself, can negatively impact a relationship. To prevent misunderstandings, you need to keep all communication channels open. Never stop talking to your partner. Stone walling or silent treatment is a big relationship killer. Feeling angry about something? Upset over something your partner did or said? In all situations, communicate clearly. You’ll be thankful you did!

Abuse Or Early Exposure

It’s not just physical abuse. Even the emotional abuse you experience as a child can deeply impact you. If you’ve been emotionally abused at a young age, intimacy is going to be tough in your adult life. Emotional abuse can affect a child’s cognitive development in a few ways. It can even impact how you take in feelings, express them, and control your emotions. Any kind of abuse can set you up for severe anger issues in the future. It’s very difficult for these kinds of kids to control them.

These people often find themselves in trouble because of it. Being emotionally abused at a young age also destroys your ability to form trust in a relationship. You’ve been damaged by those close to you. Why would you trust this new person? To be able to move past this problem, a person needs to heal from this experience. One of the ways to heal is through therapy. By talking about your issues with a professional, you’ll be able to process your emotions and hopefully be able to communicate with your partner. The same is the case for people who are addicted to adult content. You need to train your mind to realize that intimacy is not only physical. This way, you’ll be able to satisfy your partner’s emotional needs as well.

Addiction

Having an addict can get in the way of a lot of things. Intimacy is one of them. When this happens, they are constantly obsessing over things they’re addicted to. It can be drugs, alcohol, or even online gaming. It can sometimes be multiple things at once. Addiction doesn’t just affect a marriage. It affects each and every member of the family, even if there’s just one person addicted. Those of us who have friends as addicts know how awful and frustrating it can be. There’s not one person who comes out of this thing unscathed. Addiction wreaks havoc on your personal and professional life. It’s a disease that drives the brain to get what it needs by any means necessary. Whether you’re addicted to gaming, alcohol, or drugs, you find it hard to function normally in your day to day life.

As a result, you go out of your way to get what you want, even if it means hurting the people around you. Addiction snatches away your ability to empathize. You don’t care as much about the needs of your partner. You change as a person, which is distressing for the person you’re with. There are also consequences in your career. Addiction can often cost you your job. Like things weren’t bad enough already. Financial burdens can put an extra load of pressure on your marriage. This only results in resentment from your spouse. While they will feel sorry for you, they can’t help but feel angry at the situation you’ve put them in as the sole breadwinner.

Either way, your spouse is usually the one who experiences the pain of your addiction firsthand. This includes all the lying and fighting, as well as possible job troubles. There may even be legal problems. There’s still hope though! If you want to regain the intimacy in your marriage, you need to overcome your addiction. This can be done through therapy, or by working a professional program.

Intimacy Anorexia

Have you ever heard of this term? Intimacy anorexia is real. It’s deadly to a marriage. If you avoid love and intimacy, you’re going to suffer from intimacy anorexia. This is a condition where you don’t have a need for love and intimacy, but almost always end up creating dysfunctional relationships. The main goal of people suffering with this disorder is self-protection, and a need to counter the vulnerability they feel when being intimate. If addiction is about acting out behaviours that are unhealthy, intimacy anorexia is about withholding intimacy from your partner.

This is usually done in a number of different ways. When you withhold intimacy from your partner, it will end up causing them great pain. Also, it will cause emotional stunting for you as well. This means the relationship cannot grow and turn into a happy one. It will eventually die. When a couple is dealing with intimacy anorexia, most people around them have no idea. This is because couples that are facing this issue almost always keep it a secret. It always comes as a surprise to their loved ones when the marriage dissolves. If you have any of these issues, it’s important you remind yourself you are not alone.

There are many couples who face similar issues and have the same heartache. Healing is possible. You just have to take active steps towards it. Getting into couple’s counselling can be one step. When you develop healthy intimacy with your partner, your relationship will prosper into something beautiful.

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