Getting Married – It’s not easy to decide if your partner is someone you should spend the rest of your life with. Usually making the decision becomes easier over time as you get to know the person and have a firmer grasp on their values. Though time does make it easier, there are other factors that can make the decision a challenging one. Typically when you fall in love, it becomes difficult for you to recognize the traits of your partner that may cause you to be incompatible.
Why is it extremely important?
But it is essential that you critically analyze those aspects. This is because love alone is not enough to maintain a lasting and mutually-respectful relationship. Choosing the right partner is extremely important, so it’s essential that you make the best choice for you. Getting married is no joke. It involves a lifelong commitment that involves bringing together two families, two lives, and everything in between. When you marry someone, you marry them with the full acknowledgement of who they are as a person.
This is why it is extremely important to make sure you are making the right decision before deciding to get married. You have to take a step back and look at your relationship from an outside perspective. Are you two compatible? Do you see yourself being with this one person for the rest of your life, until the day you die? Do you see yourself having children with this person? There are so many different questions to ask and things to consider.
Why divorce rates are so high?
There’s a reason why divorce rates are so high! When two people aren’t prepared to get married, it often leads to divorce. That’s why couples have to prepare themselves and ask each other certain questions before taking the leap. Now, here is a list of questions you should ask your partner and thoroughly discuss before getting married.
- What does your relationship with your family and friends look like?
- What is your financial goal in terms of annual income and what are your expenses like?
- Will you have children together?
- How ambitious are you?
- Are you each satisfied with the frequency of your intimacy?
- Are you happy with each other’s approach to health?
- Do you share a religion or spiritual practice and in what way does that play a part in your life together?
- How do you share responsibilities in terms of kids and household duties?
What does your relationship with your family and friends look like?
It’s extremely important to understand (and accept) the role that your partner’s family and friends play in his or her life. A big part of how compatible two people are is how they engage with their partner’s family and friends. If family plays a big role in your partner’s life, you need to know. When you marry someone, you marry into their family too. If your partner goes for family lunch every Sunday and that is a staple of his or her life, it is something that you will have to be okay with doing too.
What role will your two families and friends play in your life together? This spans everything from short visits, to extended stays, to holidays and special events. Do you get along with your partner’s friends? These are all important questions you have to ask your partner before getting married.
What is your financial goal in terms of annual income and what are your expenses like?
For your annual income, this includes how much you earn together and what your collective goal is, as well as your individual goals and how you anticipate achieving them. In terms of your expenses, this can include the percentage of income you’re each willing to spend on maintaining your home as well as your categories of expenses such as clothing, insurance, travel, and more. Once a couple gets married, their finances are combined. You will absolutely need to know what kind of debt (if any) your partner is in, how they plan on financing their money, and their future plans and goals in terms of finances.
Do they want to buy a house? Start a business? Finances often play a big role in the demise of marriages, so it is extremely important to have full clarity about financial goals, expenses, and debts before getting married.
Will you have children together?
This is absolutely something you need to ask your partner before even considering engagement. This can also often be a dealbreaker for certain people. Many people get married and plan to have children after they get married. If you marry someone who doesn’t want to have kids but you do, it’s usually a sign that the marriage won’t work. You simply can’t marry someone if you think he or she will change their mind about having children in the future. No matter how much you love a person, if your future goals and dreams don’t align (especially if it pertains to having children), the marriage just won’t last.
You can’t force anything on someone – especially if it’s something as big as having kids. If you both want children, how many children do you want to have, and when? How will having children change the way you currently live? You will have to consider where you will be living, how your finances will come into play, and your 5, 10, 15, and even 20 year plans if you do decide to have children.
How ambitious are you?
If you are ambitious, you probably want to be with someone who is as ambitious as you are. Are you comfortable with each other’s level of ambition? How will this affect how much time you spend at work and your commitment to your career/family? Ambition can come into play when it comes to careers, hobbies, and more. It is a big thing to take into consideration, especially if your partner has ambitions to grow in his or her career, which would take a huge commitment and may require some sacrifices.
Are you each satisfied with the frequency of your intimacy?
A couple’s sex life is a huge part of their relationship. Whether people like to admit it or not, there has to be a certain level of attractiveness and intimacy between two people in order for the relationship to strive and grow. Do your desire levels match and how do you cope if they don’t? Remember, you will be with this person for the rest of your life. If the intimacy is lacking, you will either have to accept it or find new ways to attract each other. This has to be an open discussion, even if it makes you a little bit uncomfortable.
Are you happy with each other’s approach to health?
If you have a healthy lifestyle, you likely want a partner who has one too. Does one of you have a habit or habits that concerns the other? How important is a healthy lifestyle to you and what does that encompass? These are important questions to ask, especially if you are concerned about how your partner’s lifestyle and health may affect yours.
Do you share a religion or spiritual practice and in what way does that play a part in your life together?
This is a big question to ask your partner, and is absolutely something you two should discuss before even getting engaged. Do you each belong to a religious institution? How much time do you devote to your religious practice. And are you each understanding and respectful of the other’s choices? If your partner is religious and devotes part of his or her time to this religion, is it something you are comfortable with?
How do you share responsibilities in terms of kids and household duties?
You will have to determine the different types of responsibilities you and your partner will have once you get married. Who is responsible for the housekeeping and how do you divvy up your chores? Will having a child affect your work schedule or reduce your work hours? You will have to take all these things into consideration before getting married. You will have to compromise about who does what around the house, and also take your careers into consideration. When you have kids, you will also have to figure out who takes care of what. And how to delegate certain responsibilities.