Relationships tend to be about giving not taking. The way you treat your partner, is the way you expected to be treated in return. But that may not be the case sometimes. Here are the signs that you’re being used in a relationship. Are you being disrespected? Does your partner not want to commit? Are they constantly asking for favors?
They don’t want to talk about commitment
If you’ve been with your partner for a while, let’s say more than a year and they still just want to take it easy. You might want to have that talk. They’re probably never going to be ready to commit to you at least not anytime soon. They may have problems committing due to some deep-seated issues. But it’s more likely that they’re just using you to get what they can. You can test them by pushing them for more commitment. It’s likely that they’ll eventually go away.
They never compromise
When you’re with your partner is it always their way or the highway? If everything has been the way they want it, it can be a sign that they might be using you. Even if you let them dictate everything but the one time you ask if you can do something your way they reject it outright.
They never give anything in return
There might be times when you may feel like you’re the only one putting in any effort towards your relationship. You are the one making plans, the only one buying gifts, the one always making an effort to meet. Relationships are about balance. If your partner seems unwilling to return the favor. Don’t be surprised when you start to feel used. If you pay attention to these little red flags you can avoid being turned into a proverbial doormat. With a little self-care, you can start evening out these unbalanced relationships.
They are always asking for favors
You shouldn’t be afraid to ask for the occasional favor. But if someone is constantly and isn’t willing to help you when you need help, that’s another potential sign. They’ll leave you as soon as you stop doing them favors.
They make you pay for everything
If you’re going out with your partner for the first time picking up the tab at a restaurant or bar is fine. But if you’re the one who’s constantly paying for everything. Chances are you’re being used by your partner. The next time you’re out try observing their behavior do they order the most expensive thing on the menu? Do they not thank you for dinner? Make sure you give them the possibility to reciprocate. If they’re not interested they won’t care to even take out their wallet to offer to pay.
They don’t show affection
Affection is a way to demonstrate your love for those who are important to you. When someone hugs or kisses you it lets us know that you’re special to them. So what happens when you show little or no affection. It might just be that they’re introverts and it’s part of their personality. Or it could mean that they don’t see this as a serious relationship. And they may be only using you for what you’re giving them. This can be status power or money.
They look to you for a quick eco boost
If your partner is constantly turning to you to seek validation. And you are always reciprocating by telling them how good they are. They’re only using you as a means to validate themselves. They see you as someone who can give them a little confidence boost when they’re feeling down. It gets really obvious whenever they desperately fish for compliments. When you don’t compliment them they get upset.
They want to keep your relationship a secret
There may be times when your partner has friend zoned you. Without even telling you even after you’ve repeatedly asked them for commitment. There’s no point in fighting this if they introduce you to their family as their friend. That’s what you are, a friend. The physical intimacy shared between the two of you doesn’t really matter. People and love want the whole world to know about it. But since you’re not, let’s just say that you’re being used.
They never tell you about their personal life
You may notice that your partner is very secretive about their lifestyle and personal choices. They never share their childhood stories or important events with you. Whenever you ask they’re generally vain. You never really know where they are, what they’re doing at any point in time during the day. This is a clear sign that they don’t wish to make you a permanent part of their life. You’ll soon be ghosted, after your use in their life is finished.
They never make you feel special
Your partner does not make any significant effort to please you, surprise you or make you feel special. They don’t buy things like chocolates flowers or gifts even on special occasions like birthdays, Valentine’s Day or important holidays. They don’t even make an effort. If they do happen to buy you the occasional gift or take you out. And it’s related to physical intimacy you being used.
You end up apologizing all the time
Every couple has disagreements that they have to work through. Sometimes insults get thrown. And partners end up saying things that they don’t mean. This is usually followed by some sort of apology in resolution. If you have a manipulative partner they might have a way of making you feel like you are wrong all the time. And have to apologize even when you’re the one that got hurt. This is a clear sign that they’re using you only for their benefit. And lack any sort of empathy towards you.
They only want to see you at odd hours
Is your partner always texting you to hang out late at night? Are they only available when no one else seems to be? This is a big red flag, if you never see your partner during the daytime. Or during time when other people are hanging out it’s probably. Because they’re only showing up when they have nothing better to do. Or when they want something. If they never make plans to do anything outside of Netflix and chill. There’s a strong possibility they’re not interested.