General / Self Care

7 Ways To Tell If Your Friend’s A Liar

Have you ever trusted a person, only to find out they’ve been lying the whole time? It can really be heartbreaking. You know there are professionals who are trained to tell if you’re lying. FBI Agents, Border Control. Many of these jobs require you to fish out the truth. Here are the 7 Ways To Tell If Your Friend’s A Liar. Do they speak a little too much? What happens when you ask for their story backwards? Wait, do they compliment you way too much?

Too Many Compliments by Liar

We all love being complimented. But if your friend is complimenting you too much, they may have some tricks up their sleeve. There are many techniques liars will employ as a way to distract you from their dishonesty. In the case of excessive compliments, this may be done as a way to get on your good side so you won’t ask any questions. Even if you do suspect them of dishonesty, you’ll be hesitant to call them out. “But do I really want to confront this person? They’re being so nice to me.” The compliments are quite simple. They often have to do with your appearance. “Nice dress… I really like your hairstyle… Man, where’d you get those shoes?” The compliments may even be personality-based. “You’re so funny… I just love talking with you… There’s really no better listener.”

You will also find the liar agreeing with you on everything. If they are truly bent on you not discovering the truth, they will even agree with things that go against their principles. Maybe they’ll laugh at things they don’t normally find funny. Maybe even side with you in a political debate. If you’ve spent a lot of time around this person, you’d pick up on this pretty quickly.

Now please don’t think that all complimentary people are like this. There are some people who are just really nice.

Changes In Behavior of Liar

There are countless things liars will do to accidentally reveal themselves. Like being visibly uncomfortable for instance. If you have something to hide, it’s going to show through your body language. Unless you are a trained CIA Agent who’s infiltrating an organization, you’ll never be fully prepared to lie. A liar’s body is doing things they don’t even know are happening. If you feel like your friend is lying, watch to see if they answer their questions in brief, sometimes one-word answers. This often occurs when you’re trying to get details that they don’t want you to know.

• “Why didn’t you come out last night?”
• “I couldn’t go out.”
• “Well why?”
• “I got sick.”
• “With what?”
• “Not sure, I just started puking.”

This conversation normally goes on forever, and raises more questions than it answers. They may also show lapses in memory when it comes to critical details. This may be because they are trying to omit points in the story they don’t want you to hear. Or maybe their nervousness is actually causing them to forget things. Another tell-tale change will be their use of superlatives. If they look visibly distressed and you ask how they are, a liar may respond by telling you they’re “awesome”. “Things are GREAT!” – “Never been better!” It’s all used as a diversion from the truth.

Liar Speaks Way Too Much

A liar will often overspeak as a quick way to legitimize themselves. They can really talk your ear off. This may also be a conscious attempt to talk your ear off so you won’t want to hear more. If they’re really smart, they’ll throw in a bunch of details at once as a way to confuse you. It’s also important to watch how fast they speak. A nervous person tends to speak quicker than usual. They might also speak at a much higher volume. Because their nerves are going, you will likely hear their voice crack. This is said to happen at the point of deception.

You Get Better Answers By Acting “Nice”

I know the “good cop/bad cop” thing has been done to death in every cop movie or TV show. But it’s not just a cliche. It actually gets results. In these situations the good cop usually gets the better answers from the suspect. But this technique doesn’t always require two people.

If you feel your friend is lying to you, build a rapport with them. Be polite and open. Make it seem like you’re someone they’d want to talk to. This way, you come off as someone they can confide in. Like there won’t be harsh consequences if they admit to their wrongdoing.

They Don’t Like Surprises

One of the best ways to throw off a liar is by hitting them with a surprise mid-conversation. I don’t mean literally hit them. I mean to bring something up they weren’t expecting. Oftentimes, when a liar knows they are going to be questioned, they will prepare themselves for what they might be asked. A liar will also think about how they want to answer something. They will even rehearse these situations over and over again. The best thing to do is throw a wrench in their plan. Let’s say for example something of yours has gone missing from your house. You have a feeling it was a particular person, but you don’t want to accuse them. While questioning this friend on their possible involvement, ask them something they weren’t expecting. Maybe a question completely unrelated to the topic at hand.

While hitting them with the usual “What room were you in?” and “Did you see my watch?”, slip something random in like, “What color pants were you wearing at that time?” You’ll notice them stumbling almost instantly. This is because you have gone off-script from what they had planned in their mind. As a result, they’ll probably get confused and irritated. While it may not give you an exact answer as to whether or not they’re lying, it sure makes them a prime suspect.

They Say “No” Differently

When trying to get answers from someone, “no” is said to be a keyword when looking for deception. This might sound strange, but there are lots of weird ways to say “no”. If you are trying to hide something from someone, and they ask you if you did it, your way of denying may come off much more aggressive than usual. If a person is lying, they might say “no” while looking in a different direction. They can also close their eyes. Anything to avoid looking straight at you while lying. Another thing to watch out for is the long, stretched-out “noooooo”. This is a sign of the person being nervous. One of the classic ways a liar says “no” is by hesitating before saying it. We’ve all asked somebody a question, only to hear that two-second pause before they answer. This is normally them thinking whether or not they want to tell you the truth.

They Can’t Tell The Story Backwards

This is one of the more interesting signs of deception. Yes, liars will often prepare their answers for when they are questioned. But what if they don’t have time to do so? What if they are questioned right on the spot? In this case, they may have to make a story up right then and there. Ask them to repeat the exact details of the story from the end, all the way to the beginning. A method that is practiced by police detectives and special agents alike.